LOUD NOISES............!!!

BRING_ON_GURTY! (Meath) - Posts: 712 - 23/02/2009 16:32:48    215729

I think with the thread on Jimmy Barry Murphy, it's now a good time to bring back this thread!!!

Bald Eagle (None) - Posts: 1009 - 23/07/2009 11:53:50    358101

so whats your favourite humming noise?

jaffacake (Meath) - Posts: 720 - 23/07/2009 13:10:57    358288

How do you get the fig in the fig roll?

mondred (Wexford) - Posts: 872 - 23/07/2009 13:37:36    358372

'THEN THE FIGHT STARTED' SERIES


My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping
channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in
bed. I turned to her and said,

"Do you want to have ***?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the
dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the
truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was
blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and
discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I
cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and
whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is
out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started ...

***********************************************************************************

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and
slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just
get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well couldn't
believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"


So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

And then the fight started.....

****************************************************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as
she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she
took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I
hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason,
took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- ---

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees, and says to her husband,

'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....

QuareGoodHurler (Wexford) - Posts: 61 - 23/07/2009 13:53:23    358414

Before take off on a plane - Why do the cabin crew count the number of people on the plane
Why not count the empty seats ??? plus the number of infants in parents arms

ruanua (Donegal) - Posts: 4966 - 23/07/2009 13:54:32    358417

Quick quiz
_______

1.Whats your favourite Gin - Gordons or the other one ??
2. Whats your view on wine bottles - Screw top, or the other type
3. Whats your favourite stout - Guinness, beamish or the other stuff
4. Your Best position in soccer - Goalie, Defender, Midfield, Winger or ...... ( the guys up front)
5. Best method of paying for postage - Stamps or the other way
6. Best Liverpool midfileder - Alonso, Mascherano or that English lad
7. Name teh author of An Snip Nua Colm ....... ??

ruanua (Donegal) - Posts: 4966 - 23/07/2009 14:15:09    358478

1.Whats your favourite Gin - Gordons or the other one ?? - Neither
2. Whats your view on wine bottles - Screw top, or the other type - Other type definately, I feel dirty when i buy a bottle that screw top!
3. Whats your favourite stout - Guinness, beamish or the other stuff - Guinness
4. Your Best position in soccer - Goalie, Defender, Midfield, Winger or ...... ( the guys up front) - Sub
5. Best method of paying for postage - Stamps or the other way - Whats postage?
6. Best Liverpool midfileder - Alonso, Mascherano or that English lad - Boooooooo
7. Name teh author of An Snip Nua Colm ....... ?? Corkery?

Bald Eagle (None) - Posts: 1009 - 23/07/2009 14:46:48    358548

I am against cruelty to animals - but I am not afraid to issue a stern warning.

BRING_ON_GURTY! (Meath) - Posts: 712 - 23/07/2009 14:55:10    358568

I have undeniable proof that the Bermuda triangle is indeed a parallelogram.

BRING_ON_GURTY! (Meath) - Posts: 712 - 23/07/2009 14:56:57    358576

I have been know to speak French in Russian..

BRING_ON_GURTY! (Meath) - Posts: 712 - 23/07/2009 14:57:29    358578

There have been occasions where I have put myself forward as collateral..

BRING_ON_GURTY! (Meath) - Posts: 712 - 23/07/2009 14:58:27    358580

BRING_ON_GURTY!
County: Meath
Posts: 396

358568 I am against cruelty to animals - but I am not afraid to issue a stern warning.

why was squid using the burdizzo on the bullock

dhorse (Laois) - Posts: 11374 - 16/08/2009 00:19:28    393517