I was shopping with the wife at the supermarket and she started calling me lazy and selfish.
I was so shocked I nearly fell out of the trolley


That night after shopping I took the wife to the pub.
When I got there everyone in the pub started shouting at me and calling me a pervert and a paedophile.
Just because I am 50 and my wife is 17.
It completely ruined our 10th anniversary.

KerryLondoner (Kerry) - Posts: 41 - 06/01/2012 14:33:45    1089529

The wife was complaining that I haven't take her anywhere expensive in a long time. So I took her to the petrol station!

Derry_ledd (Derry) - Posts: 2093 - 06/01/2012 15:17:38    1089582

A made up Snuffy original:


The wife suggested that we should both take part in 'Operation Transformation'!!

I said why bother, you already get enough exercise running off at the mouth and jumping to conclusions, while I get enough exercise bending over backwards and jumping through hoops for you!!

Regards,

Snufalufagus....Laochra Gael

Snufalufagus (Dublin) - Posts: 8100 - 06/01/2012 15:17:46    1089583

After we came back from the pub I was laying in bed with the wife, I looked her in the eyes and said " Seeing your face reminds me of the lottery"

"Because I'm worth millions to you ?" she asked

"No" I said, "I wish you'd fecking rollover"

KerryLondoner (Kerry) - Posts: 41 - 06/01/2012 16:51:07    1089686

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was stuffed inside Anthony Worrall Thompsons jacket.

fortyfive (Tyrone) - Posts: 5929 - 10/01/2012 17:28:26    1091401

Did you hear about the kerry man going to the airport he saw a sign that said airport left so he turn and went home

dannyone (Mayo) - Posts: 176 - 10/01/2012 21:53:19    1091581

"Knock Knock"

"Who's their?"

"It's the Grammar Police"

"Uh oh"....

Lockjaw (Donegal) - Posts: 9556 - 11/01/2012 11:49:15    1091660

A man's wife hits him across the head. He says "Wot's that for?"
She says "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Sexy Sarah written on it".
Quick as a flash he says "that s the name of a horse l bet on today, u silly cow" - she apologises.
A week later she hits him over the head with a frying pan! He says, "What the was that for?" . She replies, "Your fecking horse phoned!"

fortyfive (Tyrone) - Posts: 5929 - 13/01/2012 16:07:23    1093193

Halfords are recalling all U2/BONO Sat Navs as the Streets Have No Names!.

I must have one of those U2/BONO Sat Navs I still Haven't found what I'm looking for!.

fortyfive (Tyrone) - Posts: 5929 - 20/01/2012 16:55:08    1097205

A female passenger who was in the back of a Dublin taxi speeding towards the Airport, leaned
forward to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.
The driver screamed, lost complete control of the car, almost nearly hit a bus coming in the
opposite direction, mounted the kerb, and came to a stop just inches from a large plate glass
shop window.
For a few moments everything was silent in the taxi and then the visibly shaken driver said
"Missus are you OK? ,I'm so sorry about that, but you scared the living daylights out of me."
The badly shaken lady passenger said to the driver and said, "I didn't realize that a mere tap on
the shoulder would frighten someone so badly."
The driver replied, "No, no, I'm the one who is sorry; it's entirely my fault. You see today is my
very first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the past 25 years.

Superglue (Kerry) - Posts: 1283 - 20/01/2012 18:14:04    1097257

i will never forget my wedding day,it was the happiest day of my life. i didnt turn up.

just.john (Meath) - Posts: 97 - 20/01/2012 22:00:23    1097433

fortyfive will you give it a rest your as dry as the sahara desert

lynchpin (Laois) - Posts: 32 - 22/01/2012 19:24:52    1097953

Yes, he's like most non Dubs when it comes to sense of humour!.....as dry as 'Gandhis sandles'!!

Regards,

Snufalufagus....Laochra Gael

Snufalufagus (Dublin) - Posts: 8100 - 22/01/2012 19:58:06    1098001

lynchpin unless you have the power to stop me or your a moderator or the owner of Lynn publication I suggest you get back in your box with your twenty posts!. they have a word on facebook for your type Trollers .

fortyfive (Tyrone) - Posts: 5929 - 22/01/2012 20:35:34    1098038

22/01/2012 19:58:06
Snufalufagus
County: Dublin
Posts: 4248

1098001 Yes, he's like most non Dubs when it comes to sense of humour!.....as dry as 'Gandhis sandles'!!

Regards,

Snufalufagus....Laochra Gael

____________

Well we can't all be Brendan O Carroll

ruanua (Donegal) - Posts: 4966 - 22/01/2012 21:01:29    1098066

just been to the barbers and asked for a' liverpool fc' [ a mess at the back,nothing on the sides and **** all up top] he charged me 130million

lynchpin (Laois) - Posts: 32 - 26/01/2012 10:53:46    1100553

The mother in law has been coming round to our house for Christmas for the past 10 years so last year we decided to do something different........we let her in.

Ulsterman (Antrim) - Posts: 9794 - 26/01/2012 14:10:17    1100762

Kerry Junior club football!

cacsmckilly (Tyrone) - Posts: 1294 - 26/01/2012 16:52:57    1100918

as dry as the sahara desert! I think we've found A new Champion....... take a bow lynchpin.

fortyfive (Tyrone) - Posts: 5929 - 26/01/2012 18:01:05    1100958

Friendship between women:
A woman didnt come home one night. Next day she told her husband she slept at a girlfriends house. The husband called his wifes 10 best friends and none of them knew anything about it!

Friendship between men:
A man didnt come home one night. Next day he told his wife he slept at a friends house. The wife called his husbands 10 best friends: Eight of them confirmed that he had stayed the night and two claimed that he was still there!!

Regards,

Snufalufagus....Laochra Gael

Snufalufagus (Dublin) - Posts: 8100 - 26/01/2012 19:28:12    1101022